Now there is one serious democratic exercise going around. The one that we call in India as elections. And true to his duty towards the nation and free of notions from any exit polls, Contramental donned his summer hat and did go out to vote. The travesties in this exercise are enlisted herein.
Summer of 2009 and we gear ourselves for one of the most intense, and interesting exercise in the democratic enigma of mainland India. A mini vacation looming over the weekend – with the day of elections being clubbed with Labor day and the weekend presents itself to be a delectable get away from the heat. However, in the midst of all this – organization level visionaries had a spark and realized that such a long drawn holiday process would not do much for the work ethic of the people who have kind of serenaded lethargy in the garb of recession. So orders were summoned out to be in office on the day of elections after having cast your vote. Expletives were presented with an air of imperceptibility (inaudible and unseen). So the wake up process was not with the requisite holiday fervor more out of the work day demeanor – the Oh-no-not-again types. Lazy toothbrush strokes helped focus on the television set which had started showing responsible and fitness minded, early, celebrity voters queuing up. I would not say that this kind of stoked my sense of duty. At least I had taken the pains over the last couple of years to register myself as a new voter here and put in the requisite effort to enable the transfer to my new domicile. So in around 40 minutes, I found myself locking the door.
Here I need to mention to you guys of a story which has been keeping me pretty perturbed these days. Ratna Aunty (RA), a portly kinda-Bohemian neighbor is pretty exasperated these days. She had got two Alsatian pups and named them Tooty and Frooti. Well yes, the idea was to have that air of coolness around, but typical of Navi Mumbai style where the average power cut durations are 3 hours a day, on a sultry summer afternoon, the most pleasant idea for a slumber is not with two full grown, lolling Alsatians trying to cuddle up against you. And its pretty humid these days, I tell you. Well in all this last time just after summer Frooti breathed her last – to reasons unknown, which makes RA hyperventilate at the slightest sight of disorder with Tooty. These days, the activity levels of Tooty has grown a bit sluggish and believe me this has nothing to do with the economy or the weekly IIP figures that come out of the economic wings of the North Block. Nor is it that Tooty, like most of us has grown on a staple diet of Hindi movies, like most of us and have realized the futility of his own existence. RA claims that it could not have been the heat since this is his third experience of the Mumbai summer and by Toutatis – till even last year, he looks up to the season with his diet of thandai and his new sleeping position on the couch just beside the one and half tonner Carrier. So off she went with Tooty to the vet in the neighborhood to check for diabetes, cholesterol etc. After a harrowing check up lasting for 2 days with lots of bones came the diagnosis. “The poor dog has just gone lazy.” Now that’s what has made RA fly off the hook – who wants to be branded as the owner of a lazy dog. And the relationship has soured ever since. A couple of days back, on my way back from office, I met them at the apartment lobby with RA trying to convince Tooty to take the stair case, that being the fitter option. A reluctant Tooty was tugging at his leash, trying to lead RA towards the lift, which of course was the wiser option to the sixth floor. The earlier evening, RA was in some animated discussion with another neighbor (I tell you, these Mumbai flats are full of neighbors), while Tooty was deciding that taking a dental try on its own tail was not a bad option to keep himself active as well to elevate himself to the good books of his master. He went all round – once, twice – ok, enough was enough; no use trying to make a fool of oneself. Which, obviously caught the observation of his master and the acerbic admonishments came pounding in. “You stupid dog, etcetra etcetra..” By then Tooty was nicely ensconced on the cleanest part of the lawn on all his fours with his tail neatly curled up beside him.
As I was locking the door that day, when, I met dear Tooty once again, for once without his leashes and out of sight of his master. There is a poodle in the neighborhood as well – the nattiest and most dynamic bovine in the premises. He had a nice rotund ball for company (a bit overgrown for its ownself), a foot length from Tooty. Having been bossed around for ages, even Tooty felt this was a ripe chance to refill its own sense of confidence. So he marches to the poodle in his most regal demeanor and bows astutely. The poodle offers him his own ball for a game or two. For around half a minute, Tooty hones his own skills with the ball and then, kicks the ball towards the poodle (had this been IPL parlance I could have said he had Pedigreed it – a bovine nomenclature to the analogous he has just DLFed it; Pedigree being available in various flavors and blends for various kinds of bovine creature). Which brings me to the point that the ball, in fact was too large for the poodle – and the valiant dog was soon seen wedged to the orb and taking the revolutions in its own stride. A Mirzaesque return in front of Raphael Nadal later, the action was repeated to similar effect. And this time poor little doggy was so battered that he took to spruce himself up, leaving Tooty to bring back the plaything. Tooty, got the same in – and he did not complain, and kicked it back to his partner. And the same action was repeated. Well it was not often that Tooty indulged in such selfless and value less action of bringing back balls without anyone heeding to his own demands. And hence, as was expected, he woofed, cast an askance glance of disgust mingled with you-chic-little-good for nothing poodle, forced open the front door into the comforts of the air conditioner, still purring to welcome him back.
See, you made me digress and how! But the election update will return, shortly, I promise!
Labels: Seasons
