Love Chronicles

Last night while commuting, I stumbled upon an interesting bit of article. Now it seems very coincidental that it came around the same time that I was toying with an idea to write about the History of Love. The article just reiterated the thought that it was time and the proclivity to 14th of February emphasized it more so. So here goes the article:

Call it the eternal embrace
Couple Found Hugging 5,000 Yrs After Burial
Reuters ROME
ARCHAEOLOGISTS in Italy have discovered a couple buried 5,000 to 6,000 years ago, hugging each other. “It’s an extraordinary case,” said Elena Menotti, who led the team on their dig near the northern city of Mantova.
“There has not been a double burial found in the Neolithic period, much less two people hugging — and they really are hugging.”
Ms Menotti said she believed the two, almost certainly a man and a woman although that needs to be confirmed, died young because their teeth were mostly intact and not worn down.
“I must say that when we discovered it, we all became very excited. I’ve been doing this job for 25 years. I’ve done digs at Pompeii, all the famous sites,” she said.
“But, I’ve never been so moved because this is the discovery of something special,”Ms Menotti said. A laboratory will now try to determine the couple’s age at the time of death and how long they had been buried.

But then again there was an anticlimactic douse to the arousal.
Friend camouflaged as critic: “What are you doing?”
Me: Blogging

Friend camouflaged as critic: In office? Wow. What about?
Me: History of Love

Friend camouflaged as critic: Blogging or is it a thesis paper? Well the history has to be short, right?
Me: Huh?

Friend camouflaged as critic: Ya just three and half years old.
Me: What are you talking about dumb nut!!

Friend camouflaged as critic: Microsoft Vista of course. What did you think? Love is the anagram for Launch of Vista and Exchange. What else do you think?

And I banged my head against my desk.

And then again I found inspiration in the ashes when Star announced that for its KBC Valentines day special it would air a special episode with celebrities showcasing three types of love stories: friends (with Karan Johar and Farah Khan at the hot seat), a couple (with Malaika and Arbaaz Khan donning the mantle) and siblings (Farhan and Zoya Akhtar).

So in the midst of such incestuous bed fellows, I thought that I would contribute my bit. And here’s chronicling some of the most beautiful love stories for 2007 year to date.

The Couple

Who else. You found them gyrating in cop and robber stories. You found them solving enigmas of business personalities. You found them in polygamous extravaganza with a stupid tree in Patna suddenly confused with its new found identity other than the routine canine attention that it usually draws. You found them in Bentleys, in Siddhivinayaks, in front of tarot readers, in film premiers, in unclaimed cash debacles with customs, in sartorial stories for the big flash wedding and you just say, hold it! Give me a break. Better get married soon before I dump my television set to get rid of you flashing on all news channels. You have done enough to prove that you are really in love and although Salman-e-Ishq might try to could cry hoarse in the aftermath in iron chains, or even try to shower a lady with puppies, that’s not the way it is done. Best wishes for the matrimony but, please get it done fast before I lose it completely.

The Friends

This is really the season of friendship toasts. But, the last few days have made the testimony bolder and stronger. A case of true corporate governance, when your employee is mortally or marginally injured at the shop floor, you compensate or reward him for his unflinching commitment. And if your employer just tries to make you look insignificant by the “magnitude” of such incentive, you would look at him with your bloodshot eyes and say, “Saab! Mein aaj bhi feke hue paise nahi uthate” in your usual baritone. But, loves now in the air and the injuries are not those ones where you have a huge burden thrown down by Bakhtawar or one where the machines just came off because seth had not imported new ones for cadaverous cost control. You have just been hooved by a school of camel. And so the reward had to be a Rolls Royce Phantom. For this, I was willing to be pasted by a school of elephants.

Oh and the story does not end here. A couple of days back, daddy had gifted dear little sonny a swan white Bentley. And then the thing got all confusing by the customs, the enquiries and everything else. And then daddy dear forgot how he had been pointing accusative fingers at IT officials who had come to pay him a courtesy visit at his hospital bed (how audacious of them!). So enter their captive genie and says, “Hold on. That Bentlee is mine. I have paid for all the paper work. (Sir only if you could spell Bent-Lee). I always have regarded Jalsa as my private resort and unless big daddy throws me out I will continue to regard it as so.” I gave up the story at that. And that investment banker bug me still pokes at me for that tax angle. Nonsense! (in clear Paresh Rawal style in Andaz Apna Apna).

And there were also…

And obviously there were the usual also rans.

Father figures egging on people to perform on the cricket field and little lad responding with a blitzkrieg in Chennai, but not before whispering in little daddy’s ears “heres our batting order” for today.

And obviously corporate love. Till you have been my enemy, I will ensure you do not get a penny, but as soon as you are my friend heres eight crores as a token for our new found friendship.

In such multitude of celebration, I think we better stay clear and treat the new Valentines day the way it ought to be which is “You become mushy near Marine Drive and I will push red chilli powder up your ….”.

Psst psst: Coming soon. How to become rich without leaving your desk