The Spark

You can blame it on anybody, but, I know the reason. It is definitely about no-frill airlines. Ok, you have lost the context now. I was trying to prove the Chaos Theory right in my own small way and I had come up with a deduction. And that is you can successfully link any consequence to any logic and come up with a justification. The inspiration very dutifully owes the wee bit of inspiration to no-frill airlines. Simply because, the flight time from X to Y is filled with a void of inactivity. No readables, no eatables, no seeables, no moveables (have you just seen the atrocious leg space on Deccan or the complex that the flight pursers have when a Kingfisher attendant just walks by… Man, I do really feel for these guys)– I mean how can you just survive. So the only consequence is to increase the fertility of your brain. So in a fit of spiteful disdain, I just tried to rake myself to find out does Aamir Khan really have a soft spot for Dimple Kapadia. And although I did not have the luxury to turn to my fellow passenger on the aisle seat to say, “Elementary, Mr. Errrr,” since he was snoring away, I had to pinch myself for the astounding findings.

To most the similarity would end at okay they did do Dil Chahta Hai together, where they hardly has a common footage and that’s that. But, no dear reader, delve a bit deeper. Just as I was nearing Delhi airport, my cab was stopped right near the entrance, where a teenaged lady spoke out, “Sir, do you condemn the blasts on Samjhauta Express?” I grew timid. Was I supposed to take stands here? Who do you think was behind this heinous act? Should we go and pee on our neighbors? But, I heard myself say, “Of course I do. It’s a dastardly act.” And she smiled. Well…. “Good. Sir, as a responsible citizen, can you show your solidarity to condemn this act, could you please do something?” I was completely on the back foot for the classic cut past point, just that I could not find the ball. “Hmmmm. What am I supposed to do?” “Just light this candle Sir. We are from the St. Helen of Troy Senior Certificate School campaigning for what happened near Panipat today.” (Sigh). “Ok.”

And then I thought this was not the first time I did it. I lighted candles at Vashi, Mahim and Kurla against July 11. I lighted candles at Nerul for independence day. I lighted candles to celebrate Shiv Sena win at the BMC (which obviously gave me a preferential go ahead through the traffic barricade). The only time I did not was on my birthday. Shame on me. So what was this candle story? And then I realized the genesis. Right on seat of 9B on the Deccan bound for Mumbai. Remember Rang De Basanti and remember Ms. Kapadia’s new found scented candle business. Remember the Narmada Bachao Andolan and the perfect promotion of the candle theory. I mean this was it. The ultimate camouflage to surrogate your lady love and yet vouch for her business. Putting your weight to ensure she thrives as you make hay charging astronomical amounts for hedonic bellicism and moustaches for movies that do not seem to make head or tail. Why had not I thought it earlier? The connection had to be scented candles.

And I would QED the matter once and for all. Remember we had a long standing school going rumor about how Darr was offered to Aamir who did not take it up since he did not want to have his daylights bashed out by Punjab da Puttar. And why not, he had been seeing Ms. Kapadia for quite a long time. How could he stutter for his dear flame Kiran in front of him.
His show of love had to be restrained, yet passionate, suave, yet complicated. He had to whoosh away his Kiran right under the Deol eyes, not be extinguished by his own bitter rival. And long after that he swore the perfect vengeance by marrying himself off for a second time. And you guess it right, his wife had to have just one name – K-k-k-k-iran.

And drooling away in that trance, I was about to find out more when a small sound reverberated, “Sir could you straighten your seat and fasten your seat belt. We are about to land in Mumbai.”… and the music in the background said, “… we are sorry for the delay due to heavy traffic at Delhi airport. We apologize for the inconvenience caused and thank you for choosing Deccan…” Damn it and bear it!!