India - This Week

The last week has been really painful for me. The reason being that the entire week was one big packaged deal of so many bloggable topics. So much so that I ended up thinking of writing on so many things and ended up writing about none. Each of these topics could not have been more diverse than the other, so here is an eclectic dosage of India this Week. You can take your pick.

1. Obviously the talk of the season has been Team India ’s T20 world cup triumph. The win of youth over geriatrics, the win of aggression over grace, brute force over elegance, the dark horse over the white stallions. There has been a lot of hullabaloo over the win. And since reams have already been spilled in newsprint, ad space and electronic ether waves, I dare not venture into the same. What I would like to carry out is a small mathematical analogy. India won the world cup after 24 years, and during the same duration the format of the game had come down from 60 overs to 20 that is by one-third. By the same progression, we would win the next world cup when the format is of 40 balls or after 72 years!!

2. Sticking to cricket, the next point in question obviously is the amount of money lavished as of now. The BCCI in the last one week has cumulatively spent thus:

Player Bonus 3 in USD mn
Exchange Rate 39.95
Player Bonus in INR mn 119.85

*all figures below in INR mn
DDCA rewards 0.5 (Amount per player) 2 (Number of players) 1 (Total Amount)
Baroda Cricket Association rewards 1.1 (Amount per player) 2 (Number of players) 2.2 (Total Amount)
Awards to support staff 1.5 (Amount per member) 5 (Number of members) 7.5 (Total Amount)

Grade A players 6 (Amount per player) 8 (Number of players) 48 (Total Amount)
Grade B players 4 (Amount per player) 8 (Number of players) 32 (Total Amount)
Grade C players 2.5 (Amount per player) 7 (Number of players) 17.5 (Total Amount)
Grade D players 1.5 (Amount per player) 11 (Number of players) 16.5 (Total Amount)

New domestic league 1 USD mn
New international league 3 USD mn
Total league prize in INR mn 479.4

Reception spent estimate 30 in Rs. mn (conservative)
Sundry expenses 20 in Rs. mn
Total amount spent 773.95 in Rs. mn

Despite the above we remain apathetical about a professional audit of the BCCI and the infrastructure provided at grounds, which incidentally remain government property, but still ICL remain lolling for a playing arena.

And it is this enormous spending power that makes it the beehive of politicos and that other sports continue to remain in the lurch.

3. Having seen the monetary and perk gains being showered on the cricket players, the hockey players of India have threatened to go on hunger strike. Going by the success of the Khan-dani movie on India’s nom de plume national sport, Chak de India was supposed to be doing wonders for hockey and I was quite flabbergasted when I saw enthusiastically colleagues exchanging notes on timings when the final would be aired on DD Sports. But, sadly the bouquets of Chak de India on screen has soon turned out to be Cheque de India off screen after the T20 world cup. And though one Khan changed loyalties about the sport, the other Khan (our cricketing icon) was never seen around anything concerning cricket. The capitalizing act was carried out by State Bank of India when they announced rewards of 5 lacs each for the players who won the Asia Cup for us, stamping firmly that "step fathers" are better than "step mothers". The Karnataka CM was cheeky enough to say that the same frenzied praise would be lauded on the hockey players if they win the world cup, only to find that party politicism and dynastic tussle might find him out of his chair come October 3.

4. The T20 world cup brought into limelight that well and truly the US auto industry is on its last legs. Rudra Pratap Singh was presented with a Mercedes Benz by the UP government and Yuvraj Singh by a Porsche, the pole stars from the repositories of Europe. The question more pertinent to Mr. Lalit Modi, on the day India won the finals from the news – starved media goes thus:
Q: Sir, do you think that Yuvraj would get into a similar financial imbroglio with the customs department owing to this auto – benevolence showered by you, as Sachin was with his Ferrari?
A: No, it is a legally imported car.
Q: Sir, has the car already been imported?
A: Yes. But I will not disclose where it is parked and what is its color.
This country just does not have any transparency!

5. In more occasions than not, the time T20 world cup had turned into a war between families and that between professions, as Dickens would have put it, the best of times as well as the worst of times. Come to think of it, within my recallable past it was probably the first time that brothers crossed arms when you had the McCullum brothers (Brendon and Nathan) from New Zealand locked in battle with the Morkel brethren (Abie and Morkel). The Pathan brothers were not to be missed out either, while the Chappel brothers made news on Indian soil outside the playing arena. Greg found the shorter entry into India, by mesmerizing the Rajasthan Cricket Board to take up an advisory position (yes the same board where the Porsches are raining from their top bosses) and Ian was in the merry company of Mr. Bhogle.

Probably after a very long time you had both teams on the field with both their captains being their wicket keepers when India and Australia met for the semi finals with Gilchrist and Dhoni leading.

For the first time you had seen a father and son involved in the same tournament, Stuart Broad as the hapless bowler for England being hit for six sixes (people on this part of the planet has started calling him Chakka by love) and father Chris, the match referee.

And way back in India the father and son story took a different turn when Rohan Gavaskar pledged his allegiance to the Indian Cricket League while father Sunil would continue be the torch bearer for BCCI; family finger in every pie, ahem!

6. Speaking of the Indian Cricket League (ICL), the image of Subhash Chandra and Kapil Dev took a tinge of tarnish when they had to postpone their proposed twenty 20 league by a few days. Experts believed that this was owing to a superb counterattack by the BCCI which included:
a. A new format domestic twenty 20 schedule with huge amounts of money at stake
b. A glittering launch of an international twenty 20 league with amount of money and sponsors unheard of in Indian sports (barring when Mr. Mallya speaks of his F1 dreams)
c. And a superbly mechanized twenty 20 world cup, culminating in the charge of the light brigade and an Indian win by which BCCI by one masterstroke has been able to eradicate the threats of the ICL, the big three of Indian cricket, and keeping the mast of the Mumbai lobby high and flying.
So sit back and enjoy, the best is yet to come! In a blitzkreig interview with the enigmatic Karan Thapar, Kapil emphatically announced that paucity of sponsors was never a factor and if Karan would only bother to hear himself asking, he was not to fall in for his bouncer this time, because unlike the last time, he would not be caught shedding tears on primetime and was well armed with a state of the art, spanking new RayBan with sun shield. If you still think that ICL is starved for sponsors think otherwise, for the product placements have started. Not to forget that Kapil was there even judging the singers at Saregamapa, as the huge hit cheerleaders at T20 have shown, cricket and music go hand in hand, and their attires boldly pronounced that Anil "Mobile" Dhirubhai Ambani have come a very very long way from his textiles business.

7. Not forgetting how we have been star struck by Prashant Tamang, the newest heartthrob in town. The build up to the finale of Indian Idol was sensational especially by the crowd cover, and the celebrity presence in Shillong and Darjeeling. The aftermath turned out to be even more dramatic when a radio jockey unintentionally turned derogatory although what he actually meant was disbelief that from now on who would turn out and say “ShaabZee!” if you have the Tamangs turning into Indian Idols. And by popular belief we have spent humungous amount of air time as well as energy of frenzied riotous people simply because the nuclear treaty, Sunita Williams and the Gandhi-Quattrochi connections on prime time news was not interesting enough.

8. Last but not the least, the victory march that the victorious Indian Team undertook at Mumbai, which held the commuter traffic at ransom. So when Dhoni arose on the dias to say, “Mumbai never sleeps, but we brought the city at a standstill today,” there were almost as many number of voices outside the packed Wankhede stadium as inside who administered grudgingly, “Haram ke pille, office ke liye late karwa diya!”

9. And obviously for the first time in the history of mankind, Contramental goes commercial. So from now on, you have advertisements on the page courtsey Google Adsense (at the bottom). With so much money pouring all over, even I could not say no. Sob! Sob! But promise, if even a single penny pours in from anywhere owing to me, I will promptly declare to my tax authorities.